THE MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS IN THE WESTERN WORLD IN RECENT TIMES
-Insecurity, uncertainty and its consequences.-
• How to react to its consequences?
• How to become secure, certain and healthy again?
For more than 15 years, I have observed a growing trend of uncertainty in people around me. First I thought it was only in northern Germany and that it stemmed from the fact that after World War II all sense of identity and therefore age-old traditions, cultures and foundations of the society were purposefully wiped out (in order to denazify Germany, which I am wholeheartedly grateful for and fully support).
In my opinion, traditions, societal roles and their origin in a shared local culture create an environment necessary for humans to feel secure, certain, healthy and content in their lives. Even in self-proclaimed anarchical groupings or chaotic human groups it seems like I have always observed underlying (often purposefully hidden) hierarchies, rituals, and structures. It seems to me that humans are drawn to that. It seems to me like we have a natural drive to create rituals, traditions and structure in order to feel safe. So:
What if a structure around us that provides this safety suddenly collapses?
It seems like that would lead to a high amount of uncertainty, and therefore insecurity in everyone who relied on that structure.
• How would this insecurity and uncertainty manifest itself in a particular human being?
• How did such insecurity and uncertainty manifest itself in a particular human being in similar situations throughout human history? (For example, collapse of the Roman Empire)
Let us imagine a society, born out of an almost 2000 year old religious context, based on a rigid non-debatable set of rules. Let us imagine that this society thrives and prospers. So much so, that others, understandably so, around it will want to trade and participate in the wealth of that society. The system of rules for this society consists of written texts as well as unspoken century-old traditions. These rules govern all aspects of life. From the smallest unit, the individual throughout smaller groups, for us called families all the way to larger entities like a government.
It seems easy to imagine that the unspoken, unwritten rules, if not kept and communicated properly, especially to the following generation, could lead to their demise or false interpretation. Let us imagine that this society prospers so much that most individuals within the society are no longer threatened by death, illness, war or violence and hunger on a daily basis. It seems easy to imagine that the generation following the last one who suffered all these ills would be proud of achieving such freedom from bad things in their lives. It seems easy to imagine that they would work hard on keeping the a-forementioned evils away from their children as well.
Now imagine the next generation. Growing up in prosperity, wealth, freedom, mostly without hunger, violence, death or illness around them. Imagine a mother caring for and educating her children about the rules of their society. The mother might have grown up in prosperity herself. Only hearing stories of how bad the situation had been for her parents. Since there are written rules as well as unspoken, unwritten ones that contribute to the mother's prosperous situation, it seems easy to imagine that it might not be immediately obvious to the mother what rules are the ones that she absolutely needs to teach to her children in order for them to live prosperous, content lives as well.
Let us imagine that in this society the mother is mainly responsible for teaching and nurturing children's body and mind. Let us imagine that nefarious powers are working on taking away that responsibility and thereby power from mothers. It is easy to imagine that this could be achieved by making the mothers believe it is to their children's benefit if mothers spend less time with their children (who will instead be taught by “superiorly” trained individuals).
Instead thesemothers are told to spend more time creating monetary wealth for the family. Understanding that, generally speaking, mothers want their children to have a content, secure, prosperous life, it is easy to imagine that offering mothers such a perceived way of achieving that will entice mothers to give their children to specially (“better”) trained individuals and look for ways of creating monetary wealth.
Let us imagine that companies within that society, where the workforce is no longer required to do hard physical labour, would welcome the newly inspired mothers as competition to their already employed workforce. Let us imagine that the switch from hard physical labour to less hard work only occurred recently in these companies. It is easy to imagine that most of the workforce would be able bodied strong men. Since everything in this society is based on rules both written and unspoken, unwritten ones, so is the mainly male dominated workplace. It is easy to imagine how a newly employed mother could find it difficult to understand, especially the unspoken rules.
Since these rules are unwritten, unspoken and have been so for some great amount of time, it is easy to imagine how fellow workers would struggle to explain them. It is easy to imagine that newly employed workers would simply be expected to observe, learn and understand these rules by themselves (as it would have been for any worker before them).
Since the workplace was imagined to be mainly male dominated, it is easy to imagine that some of the rules, both written and unwritten, would be based on rules based in male dominated spaces (hard physical labour, extremely violent situations, war, etc.). Let us imagine that in this society, women had had the privilege (associated with a responsibility) of not having had previous experiences with these types of situations. Instead, women bored children, raced them and prepare them for a prosperous life. Let us imagine that this in turn (especially bearing children) is a hard physical labour that men have had the privilege from being spared from.
It is easy to imagine that newly employed mothers could become confused, feel insulted or feel like they were treated badly simply by not being able to understand the rules of a situation they had never been in before. To add insult to injury: Let us imagine that the nefarious forces tell the newly employed mothers that they will be treated like “equals”.
What does that mean to them?
Does that mean they can expect to be treated equally good as their husbands or fathers, who, let us imagine, have worked all their adult lives already?
Does that mean they will be treated equally to a newly employed male coworker who is expected to start on the lowest rank of the rule-based hierarchy?
It is easy to imagine that it could lead to confusion between the existing workforce and newly employed mothers if both are simply told to treat the mothers as “equals”.
As teachers to their children, bearers of the societies young and home makers, these mothers built their own strong rule-based (both written and unwritten) environments. As most able bodied, capable men would do hard physical work on a daily basis, so would mothers prepare, keep in order and organised the home. Let us imagine that both are essential for the existence and prosperity of this society. Both should be valued as such.
Let us imagine mothers exchange ideas with other mothers. Teach young women and men to keep both unwritten and written rules of mutual respect, kindness, and diplomacy. Let us imagine mothers building social environments for their children to learn how to interact with others based on the rules of society. It is easy to imagine how this valuable, essential part of this society would be lost if no mother were to keep it up. It is easy to imagine how it could tear at the very fabric of this prosperous society if no mother were to teach her children the rules, both unwritten and written ones.
Let us imagine the consequences of that:
Let us imagine that the next generation of children in this society is born. Let us imagine that mothers are told that their children will be able to enjoy even more freedom, more wealth and more prosperity than they had if the mothers were to give their children at a young age to specially train teachers. And instead mothers are told to use the freed up time no longer needed for raising their children to join the workforce through full-time employment. Let us imagine that the wages levels fall (are purposefully ajusted) so that it becomes necessary for mothers to be employed so that the family has enough money to live. Let us imagine that this would break with many of the age old unspoken rules of this society.
What would be the consequences of that for the following generation?
What would be the consequences for their children?
Let us imagine that this breaking of unwritten rules occurred unobserved. That it only slowly made its way into the minds of a few very observant individuals in this society. Let us imagine that this breaking of rules was an unconscious act, still mainly invisible to huge parts of this society. It is easy to imagine that the invisibility of the breaking of these age-old rules could lead to a void in the rules on which the society is built. The breaking of rules might be justified, sometimes even necessary (and it always has to be supported by morally sound evidence). But in order for this society to keep its prosperity, freedom and opportunities of security for individuals, the broken rule needs to be replaced with one that will support these values of the society as well.
05/19/23
Let us imagine that this replacement rule didn't come. The unspoken rule that was broken was the one of mothers being the first and almost always healthiest teacher to their children. Let us imagine that this rule was replaced by the almost unwritten, now spoken and communicated rule of specially trained teachers were the healthiest teachers for children. It is easy to imagine that at first, many of these specifically trained teachers were mothers themselves. Remember that mothers were now encouraged to join the workforce. It is easy to imagine that many mothers did so in less physically demanding jobs. It is easy to imagine how this could lead to a majority of specially trained teachers being mothers.
Note: For some time I have stated that the new teachers in this society would be specially trained. Let us have a closer look at that.
Who would teach these new teachers?
What would these teachers need to be trained in?
Who would decide what the teachers learn?<
Who would decide which newly trained teacher was suitable or eligible to teach children?
06/01/2023
Compassion
In the last part of this text, I tried to document a possible scenario that would lead to insecurity and uncertainty for many members of a disrupted society. Now it is time to ask:
How can we afford to help individuals in this society to feel more secure and certain again?
One possible way, in my opinion, is bounded compassion. This is compassion, bounded by moral Christian value-based standards.
How can we afford to reach individuals that are afraid, feel isolated, betrayed, or alone?
How can we help individuals to learn to not rely on others to validate them?
How can we afford to help individuals realise that life truly is suffering and that it is our actions in response to pain that define our contentment, not other people around us?
How can we afford to foster a surrounding for insecure, confused, especially young individuals where they can choose to learn about self-discipline? Where they can learn how to deal with the insecurity and uncertainty around them in a healthy way?
How can we afford to give these individuals an alternative to losing themselves in false, harmful and narcissistic(-driven) ideologies?
How do you reach an individual lost in insecurity and uncertainty? Lost, so much so that they have built their own set of rules to counter-act the fear?
How do you communicate effectively with an individual that has created their own harmful, undebatable set of rules and is now trying to force these rules on every other individual around them to feel less insecure?
To me it seems like one possible answer to the questions from above could be:
Start at the origin of the individual's own story of insecurity and uncertainty. Find out what painful moment in their personal life it was after which they didn't have or learn a healthy way to deal with the pain, and so created their own coping mechanism. Now it is important to validate their pain without validating their response to it. Separate the two.
The pain is where you start. From there you build new ways of dealing with it. It can be immensely freeing for an individual to hear their initial pain being validated. It doesn't have to be.
06/08/2023
-Loss of identity-
Pain and trauma can come from neglect, mental or physical violence, or other things. These can often be invisible even to the individual being affected by it.
There are cases in which individuals who show signs of narcissistism are not able to engage in constructive and effective communication with other human beings. My heart bleeds for them and their loneliness.
However, I will not subject myself to their abuse.
In my opinion, there are only few true narcissists and a lot of confused, insecure individuals that fall prey to these narcissists.
How can we afford to build spaces for young women to rebuild their lives in a content healthy, stable manner?
What would such a space look like?
ADD-ON:
02/26/2024
Radical Acceptance of Fragility in Life – An Antidote to Insecurity
(Anxiety, Narcissism,…)
1. What is Fragility
2. Are humans fragile? Awareness and Reflection
3. The concept of radical acceptance
4. Possible methods of achieving radical acceptance
5. possible ways of accepting your own fragility (and the fragility of human life)
Appendix:
Responses to Insecurity
1. Anxiety and Depression
2. Narcissism
3. Rage