THINGS I WANT MY CHILDREN TO LEARN
– Bringing back familes, one mother at a time. –
07/02/23
• Every single one of your actions has consequences (good or bad). You have agency to decide what you will do. You are the one responsible for your actions and their consequences.
• You are growing up living in immense privilege and freedom (no war, no violence, in immense wealth, geographically and historically, no hunger and no illness).
• Effect over intention.
• There is no “in-action” (generalised version of “Man kann nicht nicht kommunizieren)
• Freedom is never free.
• Money is cheaper than time. Cash is even cheaper than money.
07/05/23
• How to regulate your own emotions
• Gratitude
• Feed your body. Feed your mind (eat nourishing food, feed your mind only nourishing ideas).
• Yard stick of agency (compare every action you observe in yourself or others, by asking “Does this foster agency and freedom or does it take them away?).
12/27/23
11. The world is dangerous. We will help you prepare but you are responsible for your actions.
For daughters: We will teach you how to find a network and husband to protect you. But you have to approach and build the relationships yourself.
For sons: We will teach you how to protect yourself and your family. But you have to act on this training and be ready to accept all consequences coming from that.
12. How can you afford to focus on being effective, rather than being right.
13. Anti-fragility
How do I teach these things in concrete situations
02/21/2024
1. Every single one of your actions has consequences (good or bad). You have agency to decide what you will do. You are the one responsible for your actions and their consequences.
Possible ideas: Take time after your kids have taken an action that had a direct, real-life consequence and explain to them the connection between the action and the consequence.
For example:
Good consequence: Your child keeps to an agreed order in their room. The next time they are ask to get a specific item from that room and find it immediately make the child aware of how simple and easy it was to find and get the item. Especially effective if the item has to do with a reward or something they want to do (crafts, a game, ...)
Bad consequences: Your child spills food or drink on their favorite shirt or on the floor on purpose or because of a lack of care. This means they have to change or clean the floor (that takes time away from playing or similar). Take the time to make your child aware of this time they could spend otherwise.
2. You are growing up living in immense privilege and freedom (no war, no violence, in immense wealth, geographically and historically, no hunger and no illness).
Possible ideas: Volunteer together as a family in a soup kitchen/homeless shelter/health care or donation center. Pray/ Meditate with your children every night and include specific sections focusing on gratitude for all that you have been given. Teach children about value (time and money) of everyday items (food, sewage system, drink water). Visit museums (best with life experiences) to experience with your children how other people live (lived before us). Relate these museums visits to family history and stories.
3. Effect over intention.
Possible ideas: Use examples from 1. to show that even unintentionally spilling food has the same consequence as doing it on purpose. Actions speak louder than words. Teach your children to judge others by their actions not (only) their words.
4. There is no “in-action”. (generalised version of “Man kann nicht nicht kommunizieren).
Possible ideas: Even not doing anything is “doing something” because it means you actively decided to not step up/interfere/help/… .
Example: Soon to come.
5. Freedom is never free.
Possible ideas: Every freedom comes with a responsibility. Not every responsibility brings freedom as a given. "...Erst kommen die Pflichten und dann, vielleicht, wenn du Glueck hast auch Rechte..."
Especially for sons: Let them talk/be exposed to soldiers/policemen that take ownership and pride in the essential work they do.
Especially for daughters: Make them aware of how their father provides for the family so that their mother has the freedom of choosing to stay at home.
6. Money is cheaper than time. Cash is even cheaper than money.
Possible ideas: Show children the effect of printing excess amount of money. Cash can be printed, money not always. Read [“Momo und die grauen Herren”, Michael Ende] to/with your child. Teach your children about different kinds of money (gold, food, means of exchange). Teach your children the difference between cash/currency (for example US-Dollar) and money (means of transferring/splitting up value).
Example: Take $60 (in US-Dollar or cut from paper) and pretend that this amount was put aside at the birth of the child’s father. Use more US-Dollars or paper cut-out “dollars” to show how the purchasing power of these $60 went down over the years (at entry into school, graduation after 30 years…).
Let your child write down how many hours are in a year. Let you child write down how many dollars are currently in circulation.
7. How to regulate your own emotions
Possible ideas: Autogenes training, mediation, breathing
Example: Let us imagine your family is having a family dinner together. Let us imagine your child is excited, talking too loud, acting erratic, throwing food or wiggling in their chair. Let us imagine this behaviour is increasing. Take your child out of the situation, away from the dinner table (but to a place you can still see from your place at the table). Explain to your child in a calm voice that they are in time-out now and in order to get back to the table and enjoy the family dinner with everyone they have to regulate their behaviour to a tolerable level. Explain in detail what that means so your child is aware of what behaviour is acceptable and what is not. If your child struggles unusually long with this (either they are unable to control their outburst after lets say 10 min. or the same behaviour keeps returning re-teach them breathing and mediation techniques). Make it absolutley clear that the time-out is not a (simple) punishment but an oppertunity to learn.
8. Gratitude
Possible ideas: Even though this was mentioned already under 2. it is important to show gratitude in every one of your actions. Teach your children that gratitude “knows no expectations”. Just because you are kind you can not expect to be shown special treatment in return.
Example: Always (no matter if your children are around you or not) say “thank you” and mean it. Spend time with people that show gratitude in their actions as well.
9. Feed your body. Feed your mind (eat nourishing food, feed your mind only nourishing ideas).
Possible ideas: Cook with your children and teach boys and girls how to cook food from scratch. Visit/Live on/volunteer on a farm to teach your children were real food comes from.
Example: Make your child aware of how negative information (for example consuming bad news all day) makes them feel. Let them write a diary of what different kinds of reading material makes them feel.
10. Yard stick of agency (compare every action you observe in yourself or others by asking “Does this foster agency and freedom or does it take them away?).
Possible ideas: Judge others and yourself by actions not the words.
11. The world is dangerous. We will help you prepare but you are responsible for your actions.
Possible ideas: (for older children 8 years+) Expose your child to selected news stories. Teach your children that there are people stronger, more evil than them.
For daughters: We will teach you how to find a network and husband to protect you. But you have to approach and build the relationships yourself.
For sons: We will teach you how to protect yourself and your family. But you have to act on this training and be ready to accept all consequences coming from that.
Examples: Self-defence training
12. How can you afford to focus on being effective, rather than being right.
Possible ideas: When your child is correct in an argument let them know. Weed out all arrogance or shows there-off. Play "Stadt-Land-Fluss" but focus on knowing many not one for each category. Teach your child to be generous in arguments and always open to learning.